Awkward Family Photos:
Wet Socks:
With Christmas being right around the corner, I figured I’d share last years Christmas Tree with all of you. As elegant as this “fine pine” (spruce for you forestry nerds) may be, don’t let it’s beauty fool you. To us guys (the cool ones anyway) who lived at 721 Lancaster—a.k.a. Poundtown, a.k.a. the house littered with broken glass, a.k.a. the house that almost blew the fuck up— from November up until March, that tree was the very staple that held our entire dysfunctional house together. Metaphorically speaking, that previous statement couldn’t be more true. However, due to a minor flooding incident, there’s also a very good chance that it served as an extra support beam as well. Regardless, that Christmas Tree stowed 80% of our recyclables, was once used as a urinal; by popular consensus, it was also determined to be the leading cause of air born illness. So, to all of you holiday cheer-misters posting pictures of your precious little Christmas Trees, just so you know, yours is still lacking character.
-Keith Morgan
I woke up this morning (1PM) more confused than a Syracuse ball boy (if you don’t understand the reference, then maybe you should watch the news sometime). Anyways, as I awoke from a deep “slumber”, a few questions came to mind. For example, how did I get home? Who put “ink” on my body? Where the hell are my sunglasses? And, why the fuck is there peanut butter in my ear? BTW, don’t worry if you can’t answer the questions above. The reason being, you’re all guilty as far as I can see it. 
A Fluffer: Pending on what you’re into, this could quite possibly be the worst job ever. For those of you who have no clue what a Fluffer is, then please allow me to fill you in. A Fluffer’s main duty is quite simple; prior to scenes requiring erections, it is the Fluffer’s job to keep male “performers” on porn sets sexually aroused. How you go about completing the task at hand is up to. Just remember, your job is only to fluff. The cum shots are for the other performer(s) only… rookie.
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